my lovely trinity...

{photograph taken by my amazing best friend rachel arthur}

oh, little tadpole, wiggling in the water
far from all responsibility.
take your time growing up to be
a big frog like me.
tadpole, take your time to be
a big, green, grown-up frog like me.
~kermit

p.s. to all children, we your parents all agree with kermit. xo
*******

daughters. three daughters. i still cannot believe the blessings that fill up our life. i love our life to pieces right now. we are past the baby stage and not quite to the college and love drama stage. i am content here. i mother you well right here. i can cure all wounds, or at least make them better without a doubt. this is a time that i know i am doing well. not perfect, but well. i am soaking up every day. drinking it in because every year flies by so quickly now. i love that each of your personalities and independence has arrived. your bonds of sisterhood are set in stone. it is the proudest thing i have accomplished in my life, and forever will be. it is not about looks or haves. it is about your hearts. and the grace that comes from how you giggle together. it reminds me of your memaw and her sisters and their laughter. life long bonds. the strongest foundation of your lives. at the end of your every days i am content in my heart that the three of you have each other. you will forever nurture and take care of each other. the cup of life overflows.

in grief comes blessings too. it is life's reminder on how we arrived to where we are. grief can arrive at any given moment. it requires no knock on the door or text message. it shows itself right in the middle of your throat and aching heart as the welling begins. losing someone that you love so very much is not fair. losing my mother, your grandmother to the heavens changed me in so many ways. it changed you as well. each of you heal me and give me. i have always been a life lover. i am so much more than that through this life's experiences. i am grateful for knowing amazing and strong women whom have taught me that the pain i feel, and the way it shuffles in and out of my days, is normal. it took me a long time to grow there. and my inner child will never fully admit it is ok. and with that i am truly ok. life is about our relations. not perfection. most importantly...how we take care of our selves, our hearts & souls. my best friend has taught me that we 'are human'. although life can be right on track... our human emotions are justified. whenever we feel them. i have also grown to know our loves and relationships, that cup of tea, warm afghan, photograph, or shutter click pull me together and remind me of happiness {of my little girl happiness with my mommy}. of being loved. of loving my life right this very minute. i grab a hold and drink it in. it is my every day blessing. if i could freeze time at any point, not even knowing the future yet. here it would be. it took many long hard days and years to arrive here. there is completeness to life right here. my heart is full. i will love every fleeting moment. living in the day. life is about experiencing it on all levels. trying to embrace each time in our lives as it comes, stays and goes. because of loss i have grown to learn and be taught how much love truly overpowers the pain & grief felt. surrounding yourself with those that love you. a beautiful newness. growth. three fold. all we need is love. to push forward. to remember to soak in our good days. one day at a time. release those hard ones. carefully protecting our weak days. anything is possible with love. unconditional love has proved that to me. my lovely trinity. xoxoxo